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Personal Development Planning: Making Personal Development Personal

We’ve written before about Impact Factory’s brand of Professional Personal Development (Professional Personal Development What is it?), but we’re just going to take a little side step here to talk about the broader issue of Personal Development.

This is because there’s an awful lot of talk about personal development and for some people, they’re not quite sure how it relates to them. Often when we become adults, learn new skills, have a job, a relationship (or not), friends, colleagues, we’re pretty much set in who we are, how we think and behave and what the nature of our emotional selves is.

Personal Development can sometimes seem like a pretty daunting ‘task’ rather than something to be desired or pursued. Do I have to change everything about me? Won’t it be painful and emotionally wrenching? Do I have to change everything about me? I’ll lose my friends if I change too much.

Common myths. And myths they are if you look at the gentler, more humane way to approach personal development. It shouldn’t be wrenching; you don’t need to have an ‘epiphany’ and change your ways forever; it should be a natural evolution of who you already are, not a tearing apart and a putting back together again.

Although Impact Factory primarily works with people in the workplace, the issues surrounding personal development are the same in any area of your life.

And here are a few reasons why:

Reverting to type and dealing with the feelings

What is very clear to anyone that works with people is that under pressure, people will ‘revert to type’. In normal circumstances, when there’s no pressure, everyone knows how they would like to deal with things differently. However, when decisions need to be made quickly, when things aren’t working as you would wish, when others become more demanding, most people under stress will behave as they always have. They will not have the time, nor will they make the time to weigh and measure their options.

What they will do is react to the current situation and do what they’ve always done to get a speedy result. What they have always done may not – often is not – the most appropriate choice to make; but it seems to be the only one available to them at the time. It is in hindsight that other options become clear.

People cannot help reverting to type. It is how the species has survived: when a mastodon came into view, people didn’t take time to ponder their options; they acted immediately. That vital mechanism is within us all: under threat we will react without conscious thought in order to survive.

However, without well-developed people skills, pressurised communication in all areas of our lives can look like bullying or blaming where it’s easier to accuse or order someone around rather than encourage. It can mean that people will avoid conflict and back down from useful confrontation where differences could get resolved. People will make incorrect assumptions and then act on them. Reverting to type can also mean avoiding getting support from others because you feel you have to do everything yourself.

When people revert to type, they are usually driven by their feelings, and it will usually be feelings that get in the way of being able to change behaviour constructively. Most people know how they would like to behave, so teaching the ‘how to’ is not at issue here.

Feelings that can get in the way of effectiveness can be anything from nervousness about presenting, to fear of humiliation for saying something stupid, to being intimidated by a particular person who seems to wrong-foot you all the time. Feelings can make you shy away from handling tricky situations from saying no to Christmas dinner with the parents to asking for a raise or communicating more honestly with a colleague.

At Impact Factory we address the fact that at times (more often than not) uncomfortable feelings will make it difficult, if not impossible, to create the outcome you want. Otherwise, people are trying to cope with new information and new techniques without acknowledging that their emotions can, at times, stop them making any change whatsoever.

That’s not personal development, and trying to learn new things without that essential acknowledgement usually means the learning won’t stick.

Changing yourself to change others

We hear over and over again in people’s personal and work lives that things would be much better if only someone else would change the way they do things. “If my sister wasn’t so stubborn, we’d have a much easier relationship.” “I’d get on much better if only my line manager would give me more time to get things done.” “My job would be easier if only my secretary was more efficient.” “My parents are so frustrating; if only they would start treating me like an adult.”

In these and many other examples, the solution seems to rest with someone else. Therefore, the responsibility for moving things forward rests with others as well. There will always be situations where life would be far better if someone else would just shape up and do things the way we think they ought to be done! However, that attitude puts all the power and influence into someone else’s hands and leaves us feeling impotent and often inadequate. You can have a good moan, but nothing changes.

Changing what you do, changing the way you speak to others, changing your attitude towards recurring difficulties will change the normally predictable outcome.

When we talk about change, we are looking for simple changes; tweaks, adjustments, small alterations, rather than looking to change everything about a person. At Impact Factory we talk about the least amount of change for the greatest impact. Striving for small but effective changes rather than complete transformation.

That’s’ how true personal development needs to happen: not massive life-changing upheaval, but easily manageable, incremental changes that don’t require you to change everything about yourself (or expect everyone else to change as well).

When we work with people’s personal development on our workshops we make it easy and enjoyable and filled with variety, so that there is ‘something for everyone’. What works for one person, won’t necessarily work for others. We believe that the way forward is to find a few things that you know you’ll be able to do, to have fun doing them and to experience enough small wins as you practise them. These are the things you’ll be able to remember in the heat of a difficult situation. You will revert to a new type that feels familiar because it’s developed from who you already are, not about becoming someone you’ll never be!

Real life, not make believe

Here’s one way that we do that: we use real-life, everyday situations that people encounter on the job or in their personal lives, rather than giving people made up, textbook scenarios they then have to ‘act out’. Working with real issues helps people recognise and understand their feelings rather than ignoring them or wishing they would go away.

We know that if you spend time learning and developing new skills on a course there needs to be a realistic bridge between the workshop room and real life.

We always ask people to bring in their own experiences – a challenging presenting situation, a recurring difficult person or problem, an upcoming meeting, etc. Within those real-life scenarios, we use some of the tools and techniques that the individual has practised during the training and has already found works for them.

By letting people work on their specific issues and then incorporating their favourite techniques into the re-enactments, they get to choose what they feel able to do, rather than ones they ought to do.

And if we could sum up our entire philosophy in one word it would be: choice.

When people feel they have choice, they feel more confident and better able to deal with the ordinary and the extraordinary of work and personal life.

And that’s how we make personal development personal as well!

For More Free Information visit Personal Development Planning

About the Author

Tom Miller
Lifestyle and Internet Marketing Consultant
Tom Miller

Personal Development Planning

http://personal-developmentplans.com

3 “Great Myths” of Personal Development (And How to Truly Be Free)

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Microport $67.85 New – Please note that the content of this book primarily consists of articles available from Wikipedia or other free sources online. Microport created the first version of AT&T UNIX System V for the IBM 286 and 386 Personal Computers, as well as IBM’s PS/2 systems. Together, these IBM families formed the backbone of what is now known as the Intel x86 architecture. By taking a new approach, they were able to dramatically reduce development costs, and consequently, the price charged for UNIX. At

Miracle in the Void: Free Energy, UFOs and Other Scientific Revelations $1.5 Used – MIRACLE IN THE VOID is a photo-journalistic look at contemporary free energy development. In this gripping personal odyssey on the path toward greater understanding of our reality, Dr. O’Leary explains how free energy and other scientific revelations will profoundly shift our paradigm.This highly acclaimed book is unique i blending ideas and concepts contained in such books as “The Celestine Prophecy” and Kubler-Ross’ studies on death and dying, it then goes further.

My Name Is Chloe $0.99 New – When free-spirited Chloe Miller meets God in a big, personal way, she doesn’t hold back anything. Refusing to change her image to fit into the “stereotypical Christian preppy mold, ” Chloe expresses God’s love and grace through her all-girl band, Redemption. In her development as a musician and a performer, Chloe learns though lessons about following God, her heart, and her dreams.

National Academy Foundation (Non-Profit Organization) $81.93 Used – Please note that the content of this book primarily consists of articles available from Wikipedia or other free sources online. National Academy Foundation (NAF) is an educational non profit organization. The mission of the National Academy Foundation (NAF) is to sustain a national network of career academies to support the development of youth toward personal and professional success in high school, in higher education, and throughout their careers. NAF Academies represent business/schoo

National Academy Foundation (Non-Profit Organization) $83.76 Used – Please note that the content of this book primarily consists of articles available from Wikipedia or other free sources online. National Academy Foundation (NAF) is an educational non profit organization. The mission of the National Academy Foundation (NAF) is to sustain a national network of career academies to support the development of youth toward personal and professional success in high school, in higher education, and throughout their careers. NAF Academies represent business/schoo

National Academy Foundation (Non-Profit Organization) $81.93 New – Please note that the content of this book primarily consists of articles available from Wikipedia or other free sources online. National Academy Foundation (NAF) is an educational non profit organization. The mission of the National Academy Foundation (NAF) is to sustain a national network of career academies to support the development of youth toward personal and professional success in high school, in higher education, and throughout their careers. NAF Academies represent business/school

Nature in Scripture $36.41 New – Purchase of this book includes free trial access to www.million-books.com where you can read more than a million books for free. This is an OCR edition with typos. Excerpt from book: CHAPTER III. IONIAN TUTELAGE. “D UT we must think of man as growing, ? as exhibit- ?’ ing a personal and collective development, to which no limits of tune can be assigned. Here at once cosmical conditions become subsidiary to social environment. The house is made for the family, not the family for the house.

Nature in Scripture $26.31 New – Purchase of this book includes free trial access to www.million-books.com where you can read more than a million books for free. This is an OCR edition with typos. Excerpt from book: CHAPTER III. IONIAN TUTELAGE. “D UT we must think of man as growing, ? as exhibit- ?’ ing a personal and collective development, to which no limits of tune can be assigned. Here at once cosmical conditions become subsidiary to social environment. The house is made for the family, not the family for the house.

Person and Society in American Thought: A Study in Christian Humanism $57.7 New – Most studies of the development of American ideas concentrate upon the growth of our political values and institutions. By contrast, this unique work goes directly to the core philosophical issues surrounding our sense of personal and social identity. It carefully examines the efforts of our major thinkers to elaborate a humanism adequate to our experience by breaking free from the theocentric cosmology imposed upon the nation by the New England Puritans. As these reflections record the qu

Phases: The Spiritual Rhythms of Adult Life $1 Used – Lievegoed here presents a holistic, organic image of human beings as physical, psychological, and spiritual beings. This in-depth exploration of the crises confronting us at certain crucial stages and turning points in our individual development can help free us to become true co-creators of our personal biography.

Power Within Us $30.78 New – Contents: thought as an agent; physical bases; personality and free development; inner life and individualism; concentration; emotional forces; effort and courage; personal ascendancy; bibliography.

Power Within Us $30.78 Used – 1923. Contents: thought as an agent; physical bases; personality and free development; inner life and individualism; concentration; emotional forces; effort and courage; personal ascendancy; bibliography.

Practical Counselling and Helping $22.72 Used – A practical, jargon-free guide to counselling, this text offers clear information about how counselling and helping may be put into practice, whilst acknowledging and discussing its limitations. Contents include: what is counselling and helping?; basic counselling and helping strategies; handling difficult situations; and further personal development. Drawing from a range of counselling methods, and offering a detailed reading list, this book should appeal to all students in the health pr

Real Software $81.7 Used – Please note that the content of this book primarily consists of articles available from Wikipedia or other free sources online. Real Software, is a privately held, privately financed vendor of software development tools, based in Austin, Texas. Real Software’s cross-platform development tool, Real Studio is available in four editions: Real Studio Personal Edition, for hobbyists and students, Real Studio Professional Edition, for part time developers, Real Studio Web Edition, for web devel

Real Software $81.7 New – Please note that the content of this book primarily consists of articles available from Wikipedia or other free sources online. Real Software, is a privately held, privately financed vendor of software development tools, based in Austin, Texas. Real Software’s cross-platform development tool, Real Studio is available in four editions: Real Studio Personal Edition, for hobbyists and students, Real Studio Professional Edition, for part time developers, Real Studio Web Edition, for web develo

Robert S. Capon $58.03 Used – Please note that the content of this book primarily consists of articles available from Wikipedia or other free sources online. Robert S. Capon, an American Entrepreneur, was the co-founder and former CEO of Charlottesville, Virginia based Adenosine Therapeutics, one of the world’s leaders in adenosine drug discovery and development with a program in phase III clinical development; HJC Software, the makers of Virex, the first commercial antivirus software for the Macintosh personal comput

Selected Topics in the History of Biochemistry. Personal Recollections. IV $265.32 New – The editors invited selected authors who had participated in or observed developments in biochemistry and molecular biology, particularly in the second half of this century, to record their personal recollections of the times and circumstances in which they worked. Having been given free reign, both content and style of the contruibutions reflect the flavour of the personality of the author.The book reflects the explosive development of biochemistry and molecular biology and related scienc

Selected Topics in the History of Biochemistry. Personal Recollections. IV $40.41 Used – The editors invited selected authors who had participated in or observed developments in biochemistry and molecular biology, particularly in the second half of this century, to record their personal recollections of the times and circumstances in which they worked. Having been given free reign, both content and style of the contruibutions reflect the flavour of the personality of the author.The book reflects the explosive development of biochemistry and molecular biology and related scien

Shi’a Organizations: Hezbollah, Ittihadul Muslimeen, Ahlul Bayt Digital Islamic Library Project, Bilal Muslim Mission $19.31 New – Chapters: Hezbollah, Ittihadul Muslimeen, Ahlul Bayt Digital Islamic Library Project, Bilal Muslim Mission, Rafed Network for Cultural Development, the Aalulbayt Global Information Center, Imam Al-Khoei Benevolent Foundation, Tehrik-E-Jafaria Pakistan, All India Shia Personal Law Board, Tehrik-E-Jafria, Ansariyan Publications. Source: Wikipedia. Pages: 80. Not illustrated. Free updates online. Purchase includes a free trial membership in the publisher’s book club where you can select from

Southampton University Air Squadron $42.8 Used – Please note that the content of this book primarily consists of articles available from Wikipedia or other free sources online. Southampton University Air Squadron (SUAS, pronounced /su s/) is a training unit of the Royal Air Force which provides basic flying training, adventurous training and personal development skills to undergraduate students of the University of Southampton, University of Portsmouth, Bournemouth University and Southampton Solent University. The idea behind all Univer

Southampton University Air Squadron $42.8 New – Please note that the content of this book primarily consists of articles available from Wikipedia or other free sources online. Southampton University Air Squadron (SUAS, pronounced /su s/) is a training unit of the Royal Air Force which provides basic flying training, adventurous training and personal development skills to undergraduate students of the University of Southampton, University of Portsmouth, Bournemouth University and Southampton Solent University. The idea behind all Univers

Spirit Obsession or a False Doctrine and a Menace to Modern Spiritualism $28.35 New – The author was born a spirit medium and went through a long development of his psychic powers. A wise band of spirits have been his inspirers and teachers, and he has been in the constant service in the field of modern spiritualism for more than thirty-three years. His object in writing this book is to assist others to find the truths that have been proven to him through his own personal, unusual experiences. He hopes to free the reader from the erroneous beliefs in spirit-obsession and en

Spirit Obsession or a False Doctrine and a Menace to Modern Spiritualism $28.35 Used – 1915. The author was born a spirit medium and went through a long development of his psychic powers. A wise band of spirits have been his inspirers and teachers, and he has been in the constant service in the field of modern spiritualism for more than thirty-three years. His object in writing this book is to assist others to find the truths that have been proven to him through his own personal, unusual experiences. He hopes to free the reader from the erroneous beliefs in spirit-obsession

The Great Path of Awakening: An Easily Accessible Introduction for Ordinary People, a Commentary on the Mahayana Teaching of the Seven Points of Mind Training $42 New – At the core of spiritual development in Mahayana Buddhism is the arousal of bodhicitta, “awakened heart.” Bodhicitta is the unconditional intention to help all sentient beings become free of suffering. It is the complete abandonment of any sort of personal territory, both in our relationships with others and in our understanding of the world as it is. It begins with the development of love and compassion for others and matures into the full resolution to help them as much as possible. Thi

The Power Within Us $33.99 Used – Contents Include: Thought as an Agent; The Physical Bases; Personality and Free Development; The Inner Life and Individualism; Concentration; Emotional Forces; Effort and Courage; Personal Ascendancy. This book contains classic material dating back to the 1900s and before. The content has been carefully selected for its interest and relevance to a modern audience.

The Simplest Path to Personal and Planetary Awakening: Free Your Mind: 10 Keys for Unlocking Your Personal Potential, Achieving Spiritual Awakening, Transforming Global Culture, and Reclaiming the Promise of Humanity’s Ultimate Cosmic Destiny $17.01 Used – Do you think your thoughts, or do your thoughts think you? Do your core beliefs about reality -about God, about Humanity, about what’s possible for yourself, other people or for the future of our planet – serve you, or do you serve your beliefs? Are you trapped inside a mental “box” of perceived limitation that impedes your worldly success, that thwarts your spiritual development, and which prevents you from manifesting the very best inner and outer life you can imagine? What if everyone,

The Will to Be Free: A Philosophy for Young People $8.14 New – Wember describes a path that enables us to become free. This freedom?which is unrelated to political or other forms of outer freedom?depends on the individual’s inner activity. We cannot become free, he states, unless we enliven our volitional forces. The author brings his ideas alive by relating them to practical, everyday situations. He offers real assistance to anyone who is searching for the next step in personal development. It is ideal for young people (for whom it is primarily writt

What Self-Made Millionaires Really Think, Know and Do: A Straight-Talking Guide to Business Success and Personal Riches $248.88 New – “Bubbling over with useful ideas.”–”Independent”"Hard-wired to reality. Hype free and brutally honest.”–”Business Age”"Practical, down-to-earth advise of great value to would-be entrepreneurs.”–Sir Adrian Cadbury”I was hooked. A really useful DIY manual for success.”–”Personnel Today”"Exhiliration. Fright. Bewilerment. Exultation.”–”Career Development International”"A Complete toolkit for the ambitious entrpreneur. Success, happiness and your first million within your grasp.”–”The Ci

What Self-Made Millionaires Really Think, Know and Do: A Straight-Talking Guide to Business Success and Personal Riches $0.99 Used – “Bubbling over with useful ideas.”–”Independent”"Hard-wired to reality. Hype free and brutally honest.”–”Business Age”"Practical, down-to-earth advise of great value to would-be entrepreneurs.”–Sir Adrian Cadbury”I was hooked. A really useful DIY manual for success.”–”Personnel Today”"Exhiliration. Fright. Bewilerment. Exultation.”–”Career Development International”"A Complete toolkit for the ambitious entrpreneur. Success, happiness and your first million within your grasp.”–”The C

Zapata’s Revenge: Free Trade and the Farm Crisis in Mexico $9.49 New – Barry views the crises that confront Mexico as alarming evidence of the incapacity of today’s neoliberal and free trade policies to foster broad economic development. He explains that such strategies have resulted in reduced food security, environmental destruction, increased rural-urban polarization, depopulation of peasant communities, and social and political instability. This book offers personal interviews, investigative research, and analysis that goes to the heart of the development